I want you to love me like I do

On Friday I'm going to my neurosurgeon. I'm still hoping everything will be alright. I want to have my death insurance and have my savings for my family. so before I die I can give something to them. I want to secure them before I leave this earth. everyday I'm crying. This bulge disc on my cervical Spine really hurts me but there is more hurting me now my good friend (and my almost lover) don't care about me anymore. I told him what happening to me but he just say "its okay, go for operation" and nothing more. I miss the old him the way we talk at chat, the way he texted me and most of all the way he care for me.