Missing You

GETTING TO KNOW:
Remember the first time we talk How comfortable I am to share my feeling with you Remember the first time we meet I am really shy, I can't look at your eyes

FRIENDS
Thankful because you always there to listen to my drama's, for teaching me, for sharing your food, experience, knowledge, story telling, jokes, and your drama. Especially for sharing you problem eventhough we don't know each other for a long time. You trust me without knowing who really I am. Thank you for sharing your music and movies. I am thankful because when I am really sad you always make me smile, you are very positive person in all situation.

FWB's
I don't regret for giving you my everything, coz I know this is the real love. what I felt for you is forever, I know its really hurts to know that you will never love me the way I do, but I'm still hoping that way day you will realize how much I love you, one day I wish you'll remember how I really care for you.

LOVE:
The hug and kisses are romantic, how I wish you feel the same way like I do, remember your hugable body, I don't want to let go. Like I'm holding my favorite stuff toy when I was little. Your soft lips that I want to kiss every morning when I wake up and before I sleep to say goodnight.

SORRY:
Sorry for all the lie, sorry I give up waiting for you. Sorry 'coz I can't tell you how much I love you. Sorry for myself because I give my all to you. Sorry for all the thing I've said and done.

GOODBYE:
I will not say goodbye, 'coz peter pan said: Goodbye is going away and going away means forgetting. I don't want to forget you but i have to let go. I don't want to hurt myself again coz I know you will never be into me. One day if we meet again I'll be strong to my feeling. I will not love you the way I feel right now.

SOMEDAY:
It's really hard not talking to you like we do before, It's killing me but I know God has a plan for us. I will never forget how amazing friend you are. but I will forget the feeling I felt for you. I wish we will both happy with our own lives. I pray you will find the right person that makes you happy.

FOR NOW:
I will miss you and remember everything we had. but if someday came everything will be alright. I will miss our lunch, meryenda and dinner. Chatting and talking in the middle of the night will be memorize.

I want you to love me like I do

On Friday I'm going to my neurosurgeon. I'm still hoping everything will be alright. I want to have my death insurance and have my savings for my family. so before I die I can give something to them. I want to secure them before I leave this earth. everyday I'm crying. This bulge disc on my cervical Spine really hurts me but there is more hurting me now my good friend (and my almost lover) don't care about me anymore. I told him what happening to me but he just say "its okay, go for operation" and nothing more. I miss the old him the way we talk at chat, the way he texted me and most of all the way he care for me.

My online Friend

2010 November

I got a new online friend in one of the social networking.  I always replied to his post and he also replied to me.  Sometimes we talk about photography and he help me to solve my problem to my system error. We have common friend my co-worker and his also co-worker but different company. Also his office mates are my friends too at social networking. Sometimes we joke about love. for example I post I don't want to love anymore and he said "how about me (with sad emoticons) Sometimes we said we should meet or something but it never happens until...

2 years later...

I post about someone who broke my heart and it's like killing me and he feels that I need someone to talk so he get my YM and we talk about my problem and the same day we decided to meet because we are so near to each other and since we plan it before.

(Break time)

Somewhere in makati and we had meryenda at tokyo tokyo. So we talk about what happen to me, I share everything and he give me advice, but since we don't have much time and We need to go back to work we decided to about it through chat.

The next day we met again at the same place, we ate at KFC this time. He share his ex-girlfriend who really break his heart that's why he don't want any commitment for almost 1 year. (To be continued)