Moving on

It's your birthday again, lately we've talked a lot things though it is not like before. again you didn't greet me on my last birthday.

Last month you went alone (you said but I don't think so) to the place where we had our first everything, I am hoping when you are around the area you remember me and you are wishing that I am there with you (asa pa ko).
Lately I realized I already forgetting you. When I am sad I almost don't think of you unlike before my prayer is you will be at my side and you talk to me, but now I am just praying that everything will be okay with me.
Even sometimes I saw you online and I just ignore you and back to things that I have to do. Even the date of the good memories that I memorized I already forget even I am trying to remembered now. Maybe this is the last time I write about you because I already moving on with the pain.

Paalam sa magagandang pinagsamahan

Happy Birthday

My last birthday wish for you

It's your birthday today. I wanna greet you but I don't want to talk to you any more coz I know you will just ignore me. :(. So I decide to write it on my blog. " To my dearest love, Happy birthday to you. I wish you all the best and find your true love someday. I remembered last year its was so amazing lunch on your day. I give you a slice of cake. I wish I can give you whole today. Did you know that my only wish on my last birthday is to have a greetings from you but you didn't greet me :( it is really sad that you forget or you just don't care at all. for the past three years you greeted me at facebook and I miss those wishing message :(. I hope you are happy today. I love you so much even though you can't love me back. I wish you good health and peace in mind." This is my last birthday greetings. (I hope) Now I already accept that you will never be mind.

How to move on with the guy?

Moving on is so hard. No body said its was easy. But here's what I do. I'm so eager to text/call him but when I hold my phone I decide to play or chat my friends. When I am alone and I remember him I just go out to my room and eat or talk to my family or clean my room. I decided not to look at his social media account. Cry all night will help also until you get tired. Until the day you're tear are stop falling. And lastly I go to church and pray. God is Great he will find a way for you to move on. Just Pray and Pray. "Stop thinking him will help you a lot to move on. Focus on yourself." Good luck :)

I WILL NO LONGER LOVE YOU

I will not be a stranger anymore
I won't reply or answer your call (I know you will do this)
I "NO" longer jealous to your past and future girlfriend
I will no longer goes to your profile
I will no longer care of you.

 AND MOST OF ALL....

 I WILL NO LONGER LOVE YOU 

P.S: Exactly today no communication for 3 months. I hope tomorrow I can do all this. I promise from now all I will try all my best to FORGET YOU.

3 months and letting you

I gave my self 3 months from the last time I talk to you, if we will not talk anymore after 3 months I will totally forget you and remove you to all my contacts and social networking. I have to move on to my life and be normal again. I want to have a happy life again without worrying the person who never cared for me. 10days from now its been 3 months since you last reply my text. and its almost 10 months since I last kiss you but the memory and the feeling is like yesterday, it is still fresh in my mind. I can't stop looking and stalking you. When I texted you last week you didn't not reply. I am very sad in 10days no more you in my life. Forget and get to my life. I am not so sad that you didn't love me, but I lost you, our friendship, my good adviser, my brother and most of all the person you makes me laugh in any ways. I have no regrets that I love you so much but if there is a chance that I can turn back the time I will hide it and I will never let you touch me. Good bye to you.

Missing You

GETTING TO KNOW:
Remember the first time we talk How comfortable I am to share my feeling with you Remember the first time we meet I am really shy, I can't look at your eyes

FRIENDS
Thankful because you always there to listen to my drama's, for teaching me, for sharing your food, experience, knowledge, story telling, jokes, and your drama. Especially for sharing you problem eventhough we don't know each other for a long time. You trust me without knowing who really I am. Thank you for sharing your music and movies. I am thankful because when I am really sad you always make me smile, you are very positive person in all situation.

FWB's
I don't regret for giving you my everything, coz I know this is the real love. what I felt for you is forever, I know its really hurts to know that you will never love me the way I do, but I'm still hoping that way day you will realize how much I love you, one day I wish you'll remember how I really care for you.

LOVE:
The hug and kisses are romantic, how I wish you feel the same way like I do, remember your hugable body, I don't want to let go. Like I'm holding my favorite stuff toy when I was little. Your soft lips that I want to kiss every morning when I wake up and before I sleep to say goodnight.

SORRY:
Sorry for all the lie, sorry I give up waiting for you. Sorry 'coz I can't tell you how much I love you. Sorry for myself because I give my all to you. Sorry for all the thing I've said and done.

GOODBYE:
I will not say goodbye, 'coz peter pan said: Goodbye is going away and going away means forgetting. I don't want to forget you but i have to let go. I don't want to hurt myself again coz I know you will never be into me. One day if we meet again I'll be strong to my feeling. I will not love you the way I feel right now.

SOMEDAY:
It's really hard not talking to you like we do before, It's killing me but I know God has a plan for us. I will never forget how amazing friend you are. but I will forget the feeling I felt for you. I wish we will both happy with our own lives. I pray you will find the right person that makes you happy.

FOR NOW:
I will miss you and remember everything we had. but if someday came everything will be alright. I will miss our lunch, meryenda and dinner. Chatting and talking in the middle of the night will be memorize.

I want you to love me like I do

On Friday I'm going to my neurosurgeon. I'm still hoping everything will be alright. I want to have my death insurance and have my savings for my family. so before I die I can give something to them. I want to secure them before I leave this earth. everyday I'm crying. This bulge disc on my cervical Spine really hurts me but there is more hurting me now my good friend (and my almost lover) don't care about me anymore. I told him what happening to me but he just say "its okay, go for operation" and nothing more. I miss the old him the way we talk at chat, the way he texted me and most of all the way he care for me.